stick that in your pipe and smoke it

the BC RCMP claims to have found insect eggs, dead flies, mould, and even human feces in contraband cigarettes. 

Dr John Blatherwick says it's like buying drugs on the street, though it "may be safer to smoke these cigs than real tobacco" (wait)... He warns us that we could be taking all sorts of things into our lungs and opening our bodies up to a whole bunch of things we have no control over. 

hmm, does he mean like... tar, nicotine, and amonia perhaps?  

and Dr Blither-whats-it is paid by whom? 

I mean, if I smoked, which I don't, the thought of firing up a protein packed, penicillium bloom laced poo pencil wouldn't seem so bad... in comparison.

moot or hooey?

studies have shown that if you smoke contraband cigarettes long enough you'll develop a strange afliction to "dump" sites