6.25.2009

Michael Jackson


LOS ANGELES - Michael Jackson, the sensationally gifted child star who rose to become the "King of Pop" and the biggest celebrity in the world only to fall from his throne in a freakish series of scandals, died Thursday. He was 50.

Jackson died at UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles. Ed Winter, the assistant chief coroner for Los Angeles County, confirmed his office had been notified of the death and would handle the investigation.

The circumstances of Jackson's death were not immediately clear.

Jackson was not breathing when Los Angeles Fire Department paramedics responded to a call at his Los Angeles home about 12:30 p.m., Capt. Steve Ruda told the Los Angeles Times. The paramedics performed CPR and took him to UCLA Medical Center, Ruda told the newspaper.

Jackson's death brought a tragic end to a long, bizarre, sometimes farcical decline from his peak in the 1980s, when he was popular music's premier all-around performer, a uniter of black and white music who shattered the race barrier on MTV, dominated the charts and dazzled even more on stage.

His 1982 album "Thriller" - which included the blockbuster hits "Beat It," "Billie Jean" and "Thriller" - remains the biggest-selling album of all time, with more than 100 million copies worldwide.

The public first knew him in the late 1960s, when as a boy he was the precocious, spinning lead singer of the Jackson 5, the music group he formed with his four older brothers. Among their No. 1 hits were "I Want You Back," "ABC," and "I'll Be There."

He was perhaps the most exciting performer of his generation, known for his feverish, crotch-grabbing dance moves and his high-pitched voice punctuated with squeals and titters. His single sequined glove, tight, military-style jacket and aviator sunglasses were trademarks second only to his ever-changing, surgically altered appearance.

"For Michael to be taken away from us so suddenly at such a young age, I just don't have the words," said Quincy Jones, who produced "Thriller." "He was the consummate entertainer and his contributions and legacy will be felt upon the world forever. I've lost my little brother today, and part of my soul has gone with him."

Jackson ranked alongside Elvis Presley and the Beatles as the biggest pop sensations of all time. In fact, he united two of music's biggest names when he was briefly married to Presley's daughter, Lisa Marie.

But as years went by, Jackson became an increasingly freakish figure - a middle-aged man-child weirdly out of touch with grown-up life. His skin became lighter, his nose narrower, and he spoke in a breathy, girlish voice. He surrounded himself with children at his Neverland ranch, often wore a germ mask while travelling and kept a pet chimpanzee named Bubbles as one of his closest companions.

In 2005, he was cleared of charges he molested a 13-year-old cancer survivor at Neverland in 2003. He had been accused of plying the boy with alcohol and groping him. The case took a fearsome toll on his career and image, and he fell into serious financial trouble.

Jackson was preparing for what was to be his greatest comeback: He was scheduled for an unprecedented 50 shows at a London arena, with the first set for July 13. He was in rehearsals in Los Angeles for the concert, an extravaganza that was to capture the classic Jackson magic: showstopping dance moves, elaborate staging and throbbing dance beats.

Singer Dionne Warwick said: "Michael was a friend and undoubtedly one of the world's greatest entertainers that I fortunately had the pleasure of working with........we have lost an icon in our industry."

Hundreds of people gathered outside the hospital as word of his death spread. The emergency entrance at the UCLA Medical Center, which is near Jackson's rented home, was roped off with police tape.

moot or hooey?
Ndugu Chancler drummed for Jackson on the hit, Billie Jean.

6.12.2009

Who's Gonna Save My Soul


this is probably the best short film I've seen in a very long time.
awesome song! acting! script! animation! directing!...

moot or hooey?
this is the second video Chris Milk has made for Gnarls Barkley.

5.29.2009

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius


please take the time to watch this 24:36 min video. it's beyond awesome!!

moot or hooey?
more successful positive world change has been made by individuals than any government in history.

5.23.2009

Fat Pig

Neil Labute is the master of uncomfortable. Take the title of his controversial play, Fat Pig. With two, three letter words, he manages to outrage, a clever ploy that dares us to ask him to explain himself. And he does just that, with elegance, fluidity, and intelligence. The title may be a shock value tactic, but the play itself is clever, honest, insightful, and true.

Fat Pig, is a dark comedic look at how we are perceived and how we perceive others. The harsh truths behind who we are, with plenty of cringe in the process.

Labute thrives on exposing human frailty, cowardice, and vulnerability. He's also very good at comedy. His timing is superb. He can throw you into fits of laughter, and have you shifting in your seat, exposed and uncomfortable, before you've taken your next breath.

Director Michael Scholar Jr. has done a great job at staging the play in a way that keeps the audience focused and engaged. The set is minimal and shifts direction, both physically and metaphorically, at several points throughout the performance.

Kathryn Kirkpatrick delivers a brave and stellar performance as Helen, the object of Tom's (Lawrence Haegert) desire and Haegert pulls us in completely with his performance, giving us hope that he'll come through in the end. Jennifer Mawhinney and Aaron Craven's characters (Jeannie, Carter) provide the cringe. Their dialogue is rich with all we try to hide in ourselves.

Fat Pig is a play that everyone should see. If you can get past the title, it's definitely worth the time.

On Stage: Fat Pig

Where: Performance Works, Granville Island

When: May 20 – 30

Tickets: Tues – Thur & Matinees $21.50; Fri – Sat $25.50

contact: 604 684 2787 

moot or hooey?

Labute has never drawn from personal experience for any of his characters or stories. 

5.20.2009

Idol Finale

I think America got it right.

I wanted to see them both win, and in the end, they did.

They are both great singers, but Kris said it himself, that he wouldn't know where to start in doing this on his own.

Now he'll have an entourage of people guiding him through to stardom.

He'll need that. It's a tough road.

Adam, he'll be just fine. He's been in the business long enough to know how to handle himself, and he's sure to get snapped up in a flash, if not by Simon himself.

Like I said before, If the results had been the other way around, I think Kris, for the reason above, would have stood a good chance at getting lost in the crowd as so many talented Idol finalists have done in the past.

That truly would have been a shame. He is one talented guy.

I've been a huge Adam fan from the get go. I accidentally caught Adam's audition one night while channel surfing, and that was that.

Adam will indeed reach "Madonna" status regardless, that, I am sure of.

So no regrets, "it is what it is"

moot or hooey? 

Queen is looking for a new front man, and Adam is being considered.

5.19.2009

final countdown

what the heck was that?

the grand finale of Idol performances and it just kind of (yawn)...

first, there were the repeat performances. 

why? 

why on earth, after (a) America and the judges have already given their opinions on the songs long ago, (b) it is the year 2009 and there are a freakin' gazillion crazy wild songs out there to chose from, and (c) with these two guys being as awesomely talented as they are at song choices and interpretations there of, would they ask them for a repeat performance, hmm??

why wouldn't they ask the contestants to pick their all time favourite song and do that instead?
a further glimpse into who they are, what they're capable of, and what we might expect to see on an album.
I'm just saying!

then there were the songs chosen by Simon. not Simon Simon, the other Simon.

I thought they were both ok, but just ok. no fault of the boys though. 
both contestants did a great job on their songs, regardless of what the judges said, which brings me to what the judges said.

lol, this is rich.
"didn't like the songs. they weren't lively enough or good enough for this level of competition." 
...bah, hahaha, you're kidding... right?
certainly they must realize they had no choice in the matter. that the songs had been hand picked... by a television producer. (a businessman, but I'm sure he's very musical)

I suppose someone had to crash and burn once the blunder was exposed.
and who's gonna bite the hand that feeds them.

last but certainly not least, the dismal DioGuardi song. 
next to letting Paula get up on stage and lip sync her new single, that was one of the lamest things Idol has ever done.

poor Kris and Adam.
it wasn't right for either of them, the judges concurred. hmm, and yet somehow...

even Kara's face read clear the unsettling drudgery of the oversight, droning home the element of confusion that clung like hair to a glue ball over the night.

the boys must have been laughing their heads off when they heard that song for the first time.
that's probably where Kris' comment of Adam and him deciding "it wouldn't be a competition tonight, and instead, a great performance" came from.
"well, there's not much we're going to be able to do with this one" (high five)

after tonight, I really don't care much who wins. I love them both, and I think they both deserve record deals.

so, with that, I'm hoping that Kris wins tomorrow.
not because I think he's a better singer, but for this:

if humble, quiet Kris wins, he'll get an Idol record deal and have an entire entourage of people helping him through the transition to stardom.
He'll need that.
And there will be no doubt in my mind that someone will sign Adam as well, immediately, if Simon Cowell doesn't get to him first. Adam just stands out that much.

now if Adam wins, I'm not 100% sure that would work the same way for Kris. it should, and it'd be insane if it didn't, but I think there would be a good chance he'd get lost, like so many Idols in the past regardless of their awesome talent.

I'd like an opportunity to buy both their albums.

moot or hooey?
American Idol is going to let Alexis Grace go one tour with the others.

5.13.2009

well who'd a thunk

I sure didn't see that coming... well, not really.

ok, so Kris really rocked it out last night. But Danny has never been in the bottom three, ever. Kris has been there a couple of times.

I guess at this point anything can happen.
who knows what they'll come up with for next week.
All I know if Adam better have his skates laced tightly, 'cause the race is on.

moot or hooey?
when Gokey cuts his record, he's going to guest star Jamal.

5.12.2009

omega 3-6-9

Here's a glimpse of the journey I took:

Omega, 
"great O"
standing O
Lambert's numbers are 3, 6, 9

He was the bomb tonight, no doubt...
however, I think Kris rocked the personal choice songs tonight more than anyone.

I was a little baffled at the song the judges picked for Danny.
All along they've been harping on him, and the others, about playing it safe and not picking songs with enough of a melody. It sounded like that song had six notes and that was it. All up high where he does his best work, yes, but a little surprising at the simplicity of the piece.
The song he chose for himself was a ton better as far as I'm concerned.

Kris, I thought did well on both songs, acing the second and clearly showing he has a huge gift. I agreed totally with Simon that the judges were lame in picking a song then placing blame on Kris for not doing it the way they wanted it to be done.

Personally, I've not been able to figure out why Kara is a judge, period.
If she's not cowardly echoing Randy, she's traveling down her narrow line of tunnel vision at the speed of light, surely not sound, or she may have picked up some audio expertise along the way. 

Adam did quite well with Simon's choice of song, and it was a good choice. I didn't hear anything new though. Maybe that's one of the perils of being exceptionally exceptional. If Adam could have been just a little rotten in a couple of the previous rounds dammit!
I'm just mad at the $50 bucks I dropped the other day on eco-friendly eyeliner.
never mind.
The second song was good too, but how does one ice icing... glitter!

regardless of how this turns out, I'm buying tickets to catch the tour in Vancouver BC.
I know Adam's theatrical hands will be tied, but that won't stop me from hoping he burns a Wicked Ring of Fire in the middle of the stage.

way to go boys!

moot or hooey?
Madonna's manager has asked her not to contact Adam until after the announcement of the Idol winner.

5.04.2009

Idol thoughts

I've thought from the very beginning (auditions) that Adam was the person to win. I still think so.  
I'd originally pegged Adam, Danny, Allison, and Alexis as the top four. Not bad.  
I do think that everyone's a winner this season. The top five anyway.
Adam's passion stands out though, and he has the showmanship to truly be great. 
If he doesn't do something great through Idol, Tarantino is sure to write something for him. 
I'LL write something for him!  

I think Danny will be a very close second, Allison third, and Kris fourth.  

Danny is very main stream and sexy. If he had just a bit more of an edge I think he'd pull ahead of Adam.  

Allison can do everything. The only thing that's standing in the way of soaring past the boys is her age. She has yet to develop a "hunger" for what she wants.  

I love Kris' voice. He has a very unique sound like REM, Aerosmith, Nirvana, but he's a bit too timid. If he doesn't reach out and grab it soon, it'll slip away from him.  

having said all this, I think they're all ready to cut albums. Their careers have already been made. It's simply up to them to lasso the wave and ride it out.

moot or hooey?
if you ignore your hunger for 15 minutes, it won't come back until you've passed the ability to consume a full meal.

4.25.2009

fortune teller

apparently i have to confess.
i went to have my fortune read and was told i need to write.

so, once i get back to vancouver, i will be inundating you with photos and stories of japan, until every rock has been turned, every blade of grass has been dusted.

yoyogi koen tokyo tomorrow, should put the proverbial icing on that cake.

moot or hooey?
if you do not do what your fortune teller tells you to do, you will be visited by large furry animals.

4.11.2009

harajuku


tomorrow I board a plane to Tokyo.
the first place I'm going is Harajuku.
and if I manage to bump into these two, I'm never coming back :)

moot or hooey?
America may be the land of milk and honey, but Japan is the land of magic and truths.

4.07.2009

deja vous? or simply really bad secret keepers...

well if it wasn't obvious before, it sure is now!
Adam's won Idol.
A standing ovation from Simon? hmm

So Allison gets a record deal too, eh.

And Scott said he wanted America to know he was versatile before they said goodbye.
He's going home?

Tonight was a strange night.
It reeked of betrayal.
Kind of like they'd all sat down and discussed what the outcome would be... with the top four, that is.

So Adam, Allison, and Danny have made deals already. Who's the fourth? That's the only thing I've not been able to peg. I'll bet though, that it's Matt or Kris. Just a feeling.

moot or hooey?
the odds of winning 6/49 are 1:64, while the odds of winning Super 7 is 1:12. The odds of winning Idol, 1:4, the others are just there for ratings.

4.06.2009

CTV blooper

I don't know about you, but it drives me bonkers when people in the media publish ads, air commercials, read the news, and the like, with major grammatical errors.

It used to be that news editors and broadcasters, TV and radio hosts, etc, were reliable sources of proper grammar. One could always rely on them getting it right.

With all the possibilities to access Spell Check, Editors, Proof Readers, Grammar Check and a gazillion other things set up with the explicit purpose of aiding the writers and readers, there really shouldn't be any reason for grammatical mistakes.

This year's commercial build up to Tuesday's episode of American Idol ends with the announcer blurting out "this week the Idols will sing songs from the year in which they were born in"

Honestly CTV.  no one caught that?

moot or hooey?
in Jan of 1989, the Mainichi daily news published the death of Emperor Hirohito, only he hadn't died yet. All those responsible were immediately fired.

4.05.2009

more of my fav photos from '08

world's largest bath tub on L'ile de Porquerolles, in the south of France.Galapagos salt water Iguana (about a meter long), a projectile sneezer.
Sam, in a Lego box.
sea turtle tracks, Galapagos.  It was mating season, but this is a G rated blog...I think.
Zorro's saddle, Costa Rica ranch in the northern hills. Zorro was off in the woods carving zeds in the trees.. on foot.
Lago Chico, Chilean/Argentine border. An awesome but very cold swim!
Heron, western Ecuador. Just as beautiful as the herons from the sanctuary in Stanley Park, Vancouver.
Chilean Mount Fuji, from high in the hills of Tinquilco.
back yard of American Astronaut Brian O'Leary's Ecuadorian oasis, along the Peruvian border.
visiting boyfriend George, on The Hour just before my friend Richard's documentary "Cubers" aired.
George tries solving the Rubik's Cube. moot or hooey?
George was so absorbed in solving the cube, that we missed the first 10 minutes of the show.

3.31.2009

Nick of time

you know, I hate to say this, being the Adam fan that I am, but I really liked Nick's performance tonight. I still can't look at him when he sings, but I sure loved listening.

Adam pulled it back a bit which I think was a smart thing to do. Ear sex.
He was smart to change up the look again as well. Eye sex.
Kudos for acknowledging the band. I'll bet they're all on their cells right now, dialing your number... seriously.

Allison, omg, tried to do too much. In my opinion, that was an untouchable song. Gwen S. already did everything I ever wanted to hear done with it.

Danny was ok, but I didn't hear much of a difference between this and his other performances.

Megan, when is she going to find the right song. I love her voice but she may have blown it tonight.

Matt, I didn't really like it that much. He sounded like a cheap cover singer.

Scott, he didn't actually do that badly tonight, but again, it wasn't enough to stop me from going into the bedroom to finish folding the laundry.

Anoop, well, what can I say. Sayonara? perhaps. A strange choice of song. Again, someone who's really not that bad, when he has a little guidance. Unfortunately right now, he has no idea where he's going or how to get there.
But just to show you pretty much anything can go full circle into something amazing, I'm sharing this incredible rainbow that sat over my house the other day.

It's either a rainbow or an awfully large contact lens.

moot or hooey?
when you see a double rainbow, the colors on the second one, are reversed.

Kiefer gets naked

I hate all the skinny ass photos on the net these days.
How are we supposed to blog properly about the people we stalk... I'm distracted...

Tonight it happened. Lucky season seven!!
Kiefer got naked!
Oh yes he did. He took his shirt off then he dropped his drawers, in public. It was awesome!
So the camera didn't shoot below the belt. That's irrelevant when one has imagination.

Let me tell you how it goes down.

The alley is dimly lit. Jack Bauer is wearing a white cotton shirt with nothing on underneath. You know, the kind women like to wear on sleep overs.
He looks into the distance, then gently pulls his arms out of his shirt, one by one. He stands there half naked in the middle of the street, awaiting orders from the fully clothed woman with the examining wand, standing in front of him.
She stares without saying a word.
He somehow knows what she wants. We all know what she wants.
He hesitates, gives one of those "here? now?" looks, does the "oh I give in" slump of the shoulders, then slowly steps out of his tackle holders.
He doesn't move, like he's waiting for something. The audience goes wild!
Jack apologizes for all the scars on his chest. The woman breaks into a sweat. She thinks she can read her name over his left nipple.
She's snapped back by the little tattoo of the pizza deliver boy on his bicep and tells Jack she's going to have to "lock him up" but before that, she's going to give him a "shower".
Jack stands in the middle of the street spread eagle (gawd!) while they soap him up from head to toe.
When she's done with him, she "tests" him to see if he was exposed to anything harmful, and lets him go.was it good for you? 'cause it sure was good for me!

moot or hooey?
tonight's episode won't be posted on the web because of its racey content.

(I've just posted the photo below 'cause it made me laugh way too hard. Enjoy it while it's still here.)quote read "Jack hates Nemo"

3.27.2009

Idol guitar

I couldn't resist posting this great photo from my trip to LA last month.
(Ndugu Chancler, moi, Patrice Rushen, Paul Jackson)

My friend Ndugu did a music workshop with my friend Patrice, and Paul Jackson. It was awesome of course. How could it not be with three of the industry's best.

They graciously volunteered their time to sit in a room filled with budding musicians, and gave their all to these kids. It was inspiring.

LA is an incredible city, but what makes it so, are the amazing people who live there.

moot or hooey?
Paul Jackson sat next to Adam Lambert and played guitar during his performance of Tracks Of My Tears, on American Idol.

3.25.2009

the tracks of my tears

OMG!!

ok, I guess I should mention who I'm raving about (as if it wasn't too obvious)
the amazing Adam Lambert.

He did it!
He needed to get personal and close, and he rocked tonight's performance to a standing ovation from Smokey Robinson.
How awesome is that!!

I think anyone who's seen Adam's performance of Dust in the Wind would know he was totally capable of it though.

Adam is on his way. Just make sure you keep an eye on Allison, your fiercest competition.

moot or hooey?
Adam has already been offered a recording contract regardless of the outcome of AI

tonight's the night, everything's gonna be alright...

Motown is gonna make or break a lot of the contestants tonight on American Idol.

I'm guessing Adam will do something by Diana Ross. He loves the Divas!



moot or hooey?
they're saving the "save" card for Scott

3.23.2009

POLECAM - ICONIX HD RH1


this is the new camera i'm saving up to buy.

take a good look.
this is the wave of the future!!

this awesome little HD camera has won a multitude of industry awards to rival its competitors.

check out the specs on this beauty.

ok, so i'm going to have to save a few thousand dollars to get all the bells and whistles i'm looking for. i just hope i can do it before i'm ready to go to camera with my documentary in september.

way to go Polecam!!

moot or hooey?
by the time my doc is ready to shoot, there will most likely be two more updated models of this camera on the market.

3.20.2009

RIP: a remix manifesto


Brett Gaylor's ambitious documentary, RIP: A Remix Manifesto, is an eye-opening, insightful, and amusing look at one of the pressing issues of the Internet Age: how corporate culture and copyright laws are putting a censoring headlock on freedom of expression, knowledge, and creativity.

The film's central protagonist is Girl Talk (Gregg Gillis), a mash-up music master at creating “sample” songs: songs made up by snippets or “samples” of pre-existing songs.

In an illuminating sequence Gaylor shows how metamorphosing a previous idea, evolved over the years and into Girl Talk's show.

“The Staple singers had a song called 'The Last Time' and The (Rolling) Stones basically riffed on that to create their 'The Last Time'.” he says. “Andrew Oldham then did the instrumental of 'The Last Time' which is basically the refrain that you're familiar with from The Verve and that became 'Bittersweet Symphony' and then Girl Talk takes it one more step and adds the Ying Yang Twins.”

In a day and age where it's common understanding that pretty much nothing is new, that everything borrows from something and has done so for centuries, Gaylor questions why it's illegal to create something new out of scraps of things from the past. According to copyright laws, art itself can be illegal.

Gaylor explores the right to “fair use” or “fair dealing”, a legal defence that allows an artist to “borrow” from another to make a point. Should Intellectual property be protected or shared.
He believes the past should be fair game.

And he doesn't limit his argument to the music industry. Copyright culture in general. The Corporate Copyrighting of plants, animals, insects, and diseases and the very real threat that poses to society.

Gaylor started a web site, posted his rushes and invited users to remix them any way they pleased. Some of the footage made it into the film such as the one segment 16 students got together and altered into an animation piece.
Check out his film web site

RIP opens this weekend at The Ridge Theatre (3131 Arbutus at West 15th)
Screening Times: 4pm, 7pm, 9pm daily

Director Brett Gaylor will be in attendance for the 7pm and 9pm screenings March, 20th

moot or hooey?
Gaylor doesn't have the rights to any of the music in his film

3.18.2009

Idolizing Lambert

Adam Lambert is definitely my favourite this year. I think that's pretty obvious.
He's in a league of his own and it excites me to no end that he shakes up the judges the way he does.
He'll get picked up regardless, and I'll be first in line for tickets to his show.

I hope he gets to show his gentler side at some point during the competition though. He can deliver, and I think the judges as well as the audience need to know he can make that stretch. It'd be a shame if we never got to see that. 
We know how original and hot he can be, now let us get close.

As the performances evolve, so do the performers.

Allison Iraheta is awesome. She's my new second favourite to Adam. She is so versatile. Can do country, rock, pop, pretty much anything they throw at her, and she's so incredibly young to be able to handle that with such grace.

Anoop Desai really shone this round, and he is definitely third on my list of great singers. I'm just not sure he has the versatility and audience appeal he'll need to make it to the top four.

Danny Gokey. I love this guy. I think he's a great singer, but he may have shot himself in the foot with the "Jesus" song. Kind of like the little blond Elvis from the last American Idol. Jaydee Bixby

That's it. 

I wasn't really that impressed with the others this week and it broke my heart that Alexis Grace didn't smoke that song. She's such an awesome singer, and totally marketable.

Lil Rounds, though I love her voice, didn't showcase it properly this week. This would have been a perfect opportunity to do a heart stopping ballad, and she would have knocked it out of the ballpark.

Megan Joy. I like her. She's very marketable but I'm not too sure where she'd fit. I'm still waiting and hoping to hear something remarkable from her.

moot or hooey?
although originality is a must, necessity is the mother of reinvention. 

Adam Lambert

what can I say, I simply love this guy. his imagination, talent, and fearlessness.
a true entertainer!
best thing I've seen in a very long time.

moot or hooey?
Adam Lambert is on his ninth time around.

3.16.2009

are you a mensa genius?

Here's a little test for you all.

You have to work out what the numbers and letters mean.

Scoring:
1 to 5 average
6 to 11 somewhat intelligent
12 to 18 intelligent
19 + genius

example:
24 H in a D = 24 Hours In A Day

1) 26 L of the A

2) 7 D of the W

3) 7 W of the W

4) 12 S of the Z

5) 66 B of the B

6) 52 C in a P (WJs)

7) 13 S in the USF

8) 18 H on a G C

9) 39 B of the O T

10) 5 T on a F

11) 90 D in a R A

12) 3 B M (S H T R)

13) 32 is the T in D F at which W F

14) 15 P in a R T

15) 3 W on a T

16) 100 C in a R

17) 11 P in a F (S) T

18) 12 M in a Y

19) 13=UFS

20) 8 T on a O

21) 29 D in F in a L Y

22) 27 B in the N T

23) 365 D in a Y

24) 13 L in a B D

25) 52 W in a Y

26) 9 L of a C

27) 60 M in a H

28) 23 P of C in the H B

29) 64 S on a C B

30) 9 P in S A

31) 6 B to an O in C

32) 1000 Y in a M

33) 15 M on a D M C

moot or hooey?
only two Mensa members have ever achieved full marks for this test.

3.15.2009

just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water

I decide to go to the south of France this summer for a little R&R.
I haven't been to the beach in so long my skin is turning that pasty white/green and people have started to ask whether I'm feeling ok.

There's this great little place right on the Mediterranean Sea called Hyeres, and I manage to find a reasonably priced hotel right on the beach.

I'm a huge Jacques Cousteau fan, so they kind of have me at hello.I check in, unpack my bag, and walk down the road to the bicycle rental shop.
There are so many incredible beaches with such a variety of surf and sand, that it's a bit overwhelming, in a very good way. I've booked off a ton of holidays though, so I'm happy to explore them one grain at a time.

The locals have begun their mass exodus from the city to their summer homes that surround the little hotels like mine, and the cafes and promenades are coming to life.
There's nothing quite like the south of France in the summer.

I take two days to circle the peninsula from crevice to crevice, and pick out the best places to swim and eat.

One of my favourite places is this great long beach where the peninsula juts out from the mainland on the east coast.
I swim and play in the waves almost every day for at least a half an hour or so, and have the time of my life ... until ...

One day as I head out for my morning swim, instead of riding along the cycle path on the road, I decide to take a dirt path that runs the length of the beach.

Here's what I see tucked in among the trees right behind the beach.I was going to crop this down but I thought I'd leave it in its original size so you could see the magnitude of the mf.. (I stand about as tall as the smallest pillar)

And it looks like it's in the open where everyone can see it and be warned of the monsterage off shore, right? NO!

From the road you can't see it for the three oddly placed non-functional pillars of the same color, blocking it from view and disguising it as some artist's sadistic rendition of surreality. Like they wanted you to know it was there, but not really.
The only reason I even discovered it was motor crossing my bike into a small bush trying to avoid a lizard.

Perhaps I'm being a tad irrational and unfair. Maybe this statue doesn't signify anything at all. Maybe it's just an inconsequential piece of art made by an avid shark lover. Or maybe it's not a piece of art either. Maybe it's just a big rock that looks like a shark fin and somebody thought "hey, this would look great in among the bushes next to that beach where no one will see it and be afraid to go in the water". But maybe, just maybe, someone is trying to tell us something.
Oh I don't know, "jaws was here"?

I've been swimming in that water for weeks! gad!

Near misses stay with you forever, whether you learn from them or not, and I'm still a little freaked after the encounter with the bull shark off the Great Barrier Reef. The only reason I'm not shark pellets, is I'm dressed like a teletubby in a blue/green neoprene jellyfish suit. Sharks hate bright things...or do they love them...I don't know.

Then there's the time I'm diving around a reef in the Cook Islands and notice a shadow much bigger than anything I could cast darken the water in front of me, cooling the water behind me. I'm too petrified to turn around, so release a few bubbles and slowly swim away.
Later when I lay on the beach, the guide comes up to tell me he's never seen "grandpa", the local famed extraordinarily large and dangerous Moray eel, ever get that close to a human before.
I pass out.

Things happen when I travel. And while the dramas are largely lasagna based, I do believe there is enough of a "food" reference here to warrant caution or panic with the shark thing.

So the last two days of my trip I still go down to the beach, only the closest I get to the water is the ice in my drinks.

moot or hooey?
bull sharks and great whites are the only two sharks that will taste pretty much anything that swims.