mr right

A girl I know at work has stated several times that there simply aren't any good single men in Vancouver. She's been single since I've known her, which is creeping up on eight years now.

I recently got back from an extended trip to Ecuador. There was anything but a lack of great single men there, of all ages. I'd consider myself a pretty average looking woman but I couldn't go far without someone sitting down beside me and striking up a good conversation. And age didn't seem to matter. Young ones, older ones, it just didn't seem to be an issue. Some of them would blatantly hit on you sure, but some just wanted to talk, and they all seemed to have a way of engaging you that made you feel beautiful, interesting, and desirable.

I'd experienced a similar thing in other countries as well. Spain, Cuba, Chile, France… all very different countries with very different standards of living, lifestyles and etiquette.

Ecuador is a particularly friendly country, with particularly lovely men. And what finally occurred to me, was that the fundamental difference with men in Canada was that they never engaged you. Oh sure, you could probably go to a bar, slam back a few drinks and talk your face off to someone itching to get in your pants and I'm sure they'd be willing to "engage" you all night, but generally speaking, men simply never,well, en-ga-a-a-a-ged you… in any way. Blank stares, no conversation, what does she want? can't get too close or make eye contact for too long or she'll assume...
There always seemed to be this unconscious psychoanalysis as they looked at you trying to sum you up without the effort of words… (sigh).

And just to kind of balance things out here a bit. It's not like the women in this country make it any easier for the guys. We're just as bad ladies. Maybe even worse. How long does it take a girl to roll her eyes, yawn, giggle to her friends, or cut someone off if she thinks for even a nano-second he might not be "the guy"? we're not exactly inviting. whatever happened to just communicating, for the sake of communicating...

So I guess what I'm saying is that I don't agree with the girl at work. There are plenty of great single guys in Canada… Vancouver even… we just need to pull out our mighty snow shovels and after we've cleared a nice safe path to our front doors, take those same shovels and scrape away some of the shit that's been piling up between us.

moot or hooey?

A good conversation is a powerful aphrodisiac for most women.